Beginning to Preach
by easilyflabbergasted
Summary: Possible 2part: She was tired of justifying her happiness, he just wanted her to know she was his.


**A/N: Hello my pretties. This idea wouldn't leave me alone. I'm drowning in finals so I apologize for any awkwardness in the writing. Enjoy!**

* * *

For four months Damon Salvatore drank his bourbon, made snarky comments to anyone who passed by or most of the time he secluded himself and practiced being angry and resentful.

To be honest, it was more of a forced anger. He's played the dutiful, ever-loyal boyfriend role for so long, letting that go would leave him feeling purposeless.

Four months ago his girlfriend died. Or fell asleep. Or went in a coma. He didn't care, she was gone. All for her best friend, resident witch Bonnie Bennett. Don't get him wrong, he loves her. Well not love, but he likes Bonnie. After spending all that time in the other side with her, she became his best friend, and vice versa.

There hadn't been any supernatural, crazy, disastrous event that ended any lives recently, so the town had been pretty quiet, peaceful even.

But losing Elena? To Bonnie? For the first month he was genuinely upset, he drove out of Mystic Falls and just spent time by his lonesome, in and out of bars, feeding on defenceless animals so that he wouldn't have to hear Bonnie chastising him when she heard of any _random_ animal attacks while he was gone.

He hated it when she was upset.

Which is why he's continuing his stance of remaining angry at the world. Elena is gone. But no one is grieving; everyone is out and about doing his or her daily business, as though she never existed. But she did.

To be completely honest once again, he wasn't upset about that, but he's worked so hard for this image of loving Elena selfishly.

He's scared to admit he doesn't miss her anymore.

Or he's scared to admit he's already moved on. Though, that could've happened even when she was alive.

* * *

He almost explodes on Bonnie when he sees her having the time of her life on a date at the Grille.

It's with some do-gooder she met on campus for her _Refugee Relief_ organization. She organized it when she enrolled two months ago, it's been pretty amazing watching her give so easily and be so free.

But he wasn't supposed to care about that, or remember so much information about the organization, all he should know and care about is that here Bonnie Bennett is, flaunting her being 'alive-ness' everywhere, accepting dates from random strangers. She's living the life Elena gave her and isn't even being remorseful.

He gulps his drink and pushes himself off the bar stool to walk towards the witch. He hears her giggle, an honest to God giggle and for a brief second, can't seem to will himself to ruin the night for her.

But then he sees that dweeb caress her hand so softly that it burns him.

"Oops! I'm so sorry sir; oh gosh please don't freak out, oh man! I'm so sorry!" He looks down to see a pubescent teen cleaning and attempting to wipe down his now soiled with pesto sauce shirt.

He looks back up to see if Bonnie and her date noticed the commotion, but just his luck, they left. He looked back down at the teen and rolled his eyes.

"Not a big deal, my shirt's black. And there's something magical called a washing machine. Don't worry kid, just next time, remember the name Stefan Salvatore, he needs an entire new wardrobe. Ruining his shirts would be a blessing."

The young boy looked confused but grateful for Damon's reflection, "Uh, yeah sure. Thanks.

* * *

He walks aimlessly for a bit, trying to collect his thoughts before running to Bonnie. Then he thinks of that do-gooder dweeb possibly being invited into his judgy little witch's house and suddenly he can't get there fast enough.

Her room light is on and before he checks for any extra noise within the house, he finds himself knocking rather loudly on the door.

She opens the door slowly and smiles softly when she sees him, though her brows furrow when she sees his shirt.

"My laundry machine, for the thousandth time Damon, is not the only one in all of Mystic Falls. You have a house, you have an excellent capable, working machine there, _use_ it." She rolls her eyes and walks into the living room.

He follows her wordlessly, taking in her presence. He wished she wasn't wearing her gym shorts and sweater, because for some reason Bonnie Bennett in the simplest clothing was breathtaking.

He shook his head trying to regain his composure. "Thanks for the reminder Observational Olivia, but that's not why I'm here."

She fluffed her pillow and placed it on the couch before lying down. "Then why are you here stinky? Not that I mind it's just, you've been super ghost. No one really sees you around, or when we do, you're always being all negative Nathan. Oh good, well now that you're here, I'll fill you in on my date."

He sat on the chair across from her then got up again, she wanted to discuss her date? He didn't care about that loser who could never understand the challenge of dealing with her. He didn't know how she liked her coffee, or that when she's angry her magic begins to smell like cinnamon, or that when she wakes up her favourite thing to do is listen to Spice Girls while brushing her teeth.

No he didn't want to discuss her date, he was angry.

"You are taking advantage of Elena. You don't deserve this sacrifice! How could you go out on stupid dates with guys you don't even know, when she's in the ground, all to keep you alive? Have you gone to visit her? Have you even understood the consequences of her actions? Don't you miss her? How can you just be so okay with the situation!?"

What happened next was a blur, one moment he was yelling at Bonnie, the next she was standing over him while he was on his knees groaning in pain. Her aneurysm's were always more painful when she was upset.

" _I_ don't deserve this sacrifice? _Me!?"_ She growled. He yelled out in pain and she walked around his withering body.

"Let me just refresh your memory you spineless _jerk,_ this _sacrifice_ Elena made for me does **_not_** compare to what I've lost. Hey! Let's play a fun game called "Prove Damon Wrong" shall we?" She stopped the aneurysm and when he regained consciousness he sat against the couch, determined to refute whatever claim she was making.

"I have no one Damon! No one! My grams, my _mom,_ my dad, all gone! No siblings, no cousins that I know of, aside from Lucy and God knows where _she_ is! I have _died_ , more than once for Elena, for Jeremy, I've been tortured by a psychopath on the otherside, and worst of all," Her voice softened and he could've sworn it cracked a bit, but Bonnie Bennett would never grant him that satisfaction.

He watched her eyes light up. He wished Stefan were here so he could ask if this was an inopportune moment to let Bonnie know he was in love with her. Pft, yeah right, Stefan would've rolled his eyes and told him it took him long enough. Then his brother would've scolded him about being such a dumbass for all this time.

"Worst of all," she continued, "Is that as angry as I am at this situation, I can't help but feel as though Elena deserved this. It's her time to sacrifice something for me. How fucked up is that? I have earned my right to enjoy my life, and I won't apologize for it any longer. If you have a problem with that, then not only are we no longer best friends, I don't want to see you Damon. I don't want to hear from you, I don't want you around me, near me, **nothing.** You don't exist for me. And I mean to top it all off I wanted to tell you that maybe, possibly, I don't know Damon, I have feelings for you. Or had. I just, just leave me alone. Get out, you aren't worth it. "

He stood up slowly, his heart breaking in places Elena couldn't even touch. Here she was, his little witch, telling him she wanted nothing to do with him, and he couldn't be more in love with her.

How fucked up was he? All her ranting, and all he wanted to do was kiss her.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, he cleared his throat. "Bonnie…"

She closed her eyes and when he saw a lone tear trail down her cheek he wished he were 6 feet under. She pointed to the door and all he could do was walk out.

* * *

Bonnie woke up the next morning feeling drained and hollow. So what she practically booted Damon out of her life? Did she really expect him and her to stay best friends? They hadn't spoken in months except the constant texts she would send him because she thought he was being annoying by sheltering himself.

She was glad it was Saturday morning so she could slowly take her time getting up. She turned to her side and grabbed her phone from her nightstand and began to scroll through.

 _46 messages, 1 missed call, 1 voicemail._

The call and voicemail was from Caroline telling her she was coming over tonight for a well deserved girls night. Plus she needed to vent about her feelings for Stefan, no big.

She opened her texts to see that they were all from Damon, responding to all her messages from previous times. Her heart began to flutter as he began detailing his experiences, what he was doing when he isolated himself, what he's currently doing, what he plans to do.

When she got through to the final message all it said was,

 _When you wake up, check ur front porch._

She threw her blanket to the side and ran downstairs; she didn't know why she was so excited. She was still furious after what he said to her, but it didn't mean she didn't want to know what the hell he was up to.

She opened the door and saw flowers, purple lilacs with a note inside. She reached down and grabbed them.

Closing the door behind her she walked in the house and placed the flowers on the table and sat down to read what he wrote in the small paper.

" _Part 1 of Damon's pathetic apology: I'm in love with you. Wait for part 2, please."_

She felt her eyes water and got up to put the flowers in a vase. Only Damon Salvatore would confess his love to her in instalments of apologies.

Boy did she have a story for Caroline tonight.


End file.
